Getting outta this tailspin

Been getting a couple strong bouts of depression today. The nuggets punch came when my hopes were crushed because of an arts grant I would not get this year ( my fault spent 2 days filling it out all wrong.fuk. And it is due in 2 days and I do not have any more time to fix this)

I have been stressed out over not getting any responses or emails back re:work and had put all of my he into this Mr Rayz $15000 grant. Ain't gonna work now. Have to re focus and put my heart and trust and faith into Gods hands.

No other way out of this but to put my complete confidence and trust in my God who loves me and will alway always provide for me and my families needs.

I choose to believe you are good, know already what I needed and I thank you Father God.
In Jesus name, amen R

Career suicide or slow period

So let's just set the facts out:

-A-tree preschool dropped me b/c of a bad Bp temper incident

- PreKgarden dropped me cause they wanted to have more exposure on our tv clip even though none was promised

-sunridge mall things I am trying to scam them for $5 child ticket

Yah I am pretty fuked as a kids musician. Fuk fuk.

But I am feeling depressed and don't even want to play to,or row...think this may be it. Fuk it

My music career is almost dead

So I try and try but now I need to look for a f/t job to look after my family.

Everyone says"you are so great at doing music for kids"

But no one comes to my concerts.

No one.