Tired...hope i can disarm this "trigger" for bipolar grumpies

2 out of 5 pucks


whoooooaaaaaaaa......I am running on 6 hours sleep in liue of my usual 8 hour minimum PLUS I have had no "rest" time: time to recharge by doing wht I like whether that is reading or listening to music etc....

For all of you unipolar and non-polar folks, a soft bipolar I like myself needs to be ever vigilant of his "triggers" to help avoid the "bermuda triangle" of a decent into (for me) super grumpy low -grade depression. Low grade meaning I can still claw myself out of bed and do my work even though I am pissed off for most of the day. A rich High grade depression means being comostose in bed with no energy to even breath...[note: i don't have low self seteem issues and neither do I have suicidal tendencies...mine is a loss of energy and fatigue that keeps me from doing life...]

I am sooo looking forward to taking a 1-2 nap to recharge thsi afternoon as I have a great conferenc eto go to on theophosic prayer (www.fathersheart.ca)
it is on how listening to the Holy Spirit to get God-powered counselling and healing for emotions.

I will totally blog how it goes for the next 3 days and share my findings with you.

For the record: It is only the unbreakable love & power of My King & Saviour Jesus that I have any vistory at all over bipolar...I lean on Him entirely and you can too. pus its free! It just costs you your will to live as He does. : )

SO Father...you are the everlasting God, you do not faint or grow weary...
Bless you and thank you for sustaining me today. In my saviou's name Jesus Amen.

Here is a great worship song from a guy who does not have bipolar but who does have chronic fatigue syndrome...meaning he sleeps 14 hours and he feels like he's had 2 hours sleep...


Everlasting God

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon you Lord x 2


Our God, you reign forever
Our hope, our strong deliverer...

You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God
You do not faint, you won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak, you comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles...


ccli # 4556538
Brenton Brown/Ken Riley, Copyright © 2008 Thankyou Music (PRS) (adm. worldwide by EMI CMG Publishing, excluding Europe, which is adm. by kingswaysongs.com

stress & now financial relief...yaaaaay

So suhweet!

Here is a recap:

earlier this week Monday -Tuesday I was at:
1 out of 5 pucks...
really stressed out & hurtin over no bookings for toddler tunes & $600 of marketing that seemed wasted.
Now?
Yesterday I got 28 bookings and I am now : 4 out of 5 pucks

Pretty darn happy and proud of myself tha teven in my stressed out mon-tues...I still was able to function and get work done insted of retreating to my "hospital" being the bed i would sleep my cares away with.

SO i hope y'all are encouraged out there.

God of our daily bread,
Thanks you for loving & sustaining us always.
You never fail.
amen

So THIS is what Apo_Setraline tastes like....

I am cruising at a 1.9 out of 5 pucks today.

Yeah its a new record low, but I am trying to be optimistic with the .9 added on to inspire my way back to greatness.
I have just been really grumpy and irritable all day today and I realize, lo and behold (pun intended!) that I have just did a boomerang into the bottom end of being bipolar. What set this off?
well I did get stupid news from the university that I need to wait 8 weeks for my course transfers to be recognized before I can officially register for classes....and because classes start in Sept (4 weeks) I have kinda missed the boat and am flailing out in open waters hoping for someone to throw me a dingy or sumthing...*sigh*
But that just means I gotta do distance ed and hope I have the focus to study and do homework without a throng of fellow schoolees to keep conversation with me.....kinda worried about that one.

So needless to say, to help spare being a bear to my loving wife and children I decided to finally start my Apo-Setraline (APS) which is "canadian" for Zoloft. I hear as well that APS can trigger mania in 4% of the BP population, so i sure as heck hope I am in the double digits of the percentile...

Other than that I am not sure if I mentioned that I am a Troubador of sorts. I write songs, play and teach guitar and have the voice combination of 90's rock stars "Darius** of Hootie & the Blowfish fame" and "The Crash Test Dummys dude". I have played a couple coffee shops recently after several years of being dormant and have finally decided to get a "greatest hits" compilation together. I have a couple dozen songs that I have written mostly for my betrothed and also for the church, and I always wanted to lay them down before I forget em.....sooooo

I rented some recording equipment and will be laying down some original tunes over the next week. So yeah...music is healing and I find singing to God really helps ( check out the Psalms in the bible for some inspiration) so between this and APS we may be able to start "Bipolar Idol" whaddaya say folks?

God of Hope,
Fill us, sustain us, be ever present, and ever near as we work with you to gain wholeness, mentally, spiritually & physically. You are cool refreshing water to us in dessert lands. Hear us and draw near. Amen

P.S. **Darius will be releasing a country album....and its actually pretty good