Lots of reconciling & business learning

Ok at the end of the day I get weirded out by people bartering with me for services.
3 coffee shops,1 bookstore, city of Calgary & libraries and YMCA & Discovery House Shelter and nobody haggles prices with me but this huge conglomerate says:

We spend $5000 on advertising so we need you to do 10 shows for free to pay for advertising your kids shows. Meanwhile everyone else is like " cool do my coffee shop lets split advertising. Bye

As well I am learning about spiritual warfare and not slandering anybody.
James 3: True wisdom

Gonna read it now.

Stay blessed!

Stuck with no crowd...my music in a vortex

So it has been 3 years since my kids music business started.

3 years.

3 years and no big crowds.

3 years and I have lost 2 big preschool & pre-K clients

3 years and I played to 7 kids today @ my bi-weekly Friday shows.

3 years and i and my wife are still killing ourselves at an evening janitor job that we hate...5 days a week.

3 years and making $400

3 years and 2011 I make $680 less due to a bipolar rage episode I had with one big preschool ( did i mention i lost them)

3 years and I don't know if its fair to my family and myself, as it seems I cannot responsibly provide.

3 years and i HAVEN'T led any children to Christ like I felt called to do.

3 years and I am 39 years old and I wonder if I can keep this up

3 years and I am facing the reality that my fuck-head friend Eric was right. I should give the fuck up on this dream, "wake up" and get a real job to provide for my family.

3 years and I have been completely stressed out.

3 years and I am now depressed and don't think I can "will" this kids music business to work.