"Change of Pdoc" recital

3 out of 5 pucks

the following is a rehearsed speech I will graciously give my mental health team on why i am leaving them

Mr Dear Dr. P

Thank you for caring for my mental health over the past 7 months. Time sure does go by fast when we are having fun doesn't it?

Now I must be frank with you:

I do not feel supported as your patient and do not feel like we connect. As we both know, the therapeutic relationship is keenly built on trust in order to build a place of safety, trust and healing. Sadly, I feel the same way about Armando my "mental health therapist".

Thank you for respecting my wishes as a patient and best regards.

now what i am thinking in my head but cannot say lest we complicate the situation

"Why do you want to continually feed me mega doses of lithium? My blood-lithium level has ALWAYS been low ...since i was diagnosed 7 years ago and my previous dx-ing pdoc...who has 23 years MORE experience than you has always maitained I only have "acute bipolar disorder" hence the low dosage---that has kept me happy & stable. But alas my rookie think-tank "i only follow text books"pdoc...YOU refuse to read my chart and comply with it! so hence i will be your guineapig no longer. I bid you GOOD DAY SIR!!


*sigh*

God i pray for a smooth & painless exit to a new pdoc tomorrow. : )amen

Vocational Options

We are at a screamingly Olympic like 4.9 out of 5 pucks today!

The past four days have been really good and I almost ran out of my double lithium, but ran down to the store and got my bottles filled right to the lid again....ahhhhhh bipolar stability is a good thing and we should all enjoy it while it lasts...right bipolar audience (insert applause here) :P

As we prepare for our move to Calgary (T-minus 10 days and counting!) I have been firing off resumes like crazy.
So far..I have had 6 job interview offers. They are:
1. Pathways day program, Langley
2. Mainstream day program, Richmond
3. Homeschool Teachers Aide
4. KLM music, guitar teacher Calgary
5. Theo BC -Employment Facillitator--,Coquitlam
6. RE: Social rehabilitation worker (Adult Care Worker), Calgary Drop in Centre

Pretty kewl eh? Even with some jobs being offered here in B.C., it is still kinda nice to know I am 'wanted' in an occupation and it really gives me alot of confidence going for other jobs. One resume was online for months and I still get job offers on it. Now I know a bipolar's track record for employment is usually widely varied. As people prone to manic & depressing episodes I know that working at the same job for more than nine months is a stretch for most of us. But I think it has alot to do with BP-ers being phenomenally gifted and talented people...who bore easily. At least that's how I feel.

SO I am pouring all my energy into being an amazing guitar teacher while I work towards being schooled and finishing my 2 remaining years to be an elementary school teacher. Why? Well, its because I really enjoy working with kids and know that teaching will give me some flexibility in letting me be creative with lessons etc...and my goal is to work more than 4 years in 1 profession. I'll tell you how it goes...

God of Strength & Joy,
Continue to shine on us with all grace & love & power so that we would reflect your glory and talents always
Amen

Saw the Doc for the "last time"

Ok. We are cruising today at:

4 out of 5 pucks.

So far my mood has been stabilized. sez who? Says me, my shrink and my twin buddies; Lithium I and Lithium II. This double dose of L is really making me a happy dude these days. 2 weeks. not too shabby eh?

I saw Dr. T for the last time today. he looked at me like a hawk wanting to know if I was expereincing any more "sadness" etc, and when I said "no" we did some polite small talk and he shooed me out the door. He is excellent at 5 minute diagnosis, but he totally sucks ass when it comes to the therapy part. but no matter, cow-town is calling me in 13 days and I am looking forward to a new shrink.

As well, I laid down 75% of my songs on my rented 1600AW yamaha audio work station and my guitar does sound nicer with layered electonica effects. I will post the music of my soul once I have mixed and edited the original enough. Shall we say 'album release part-eee'?

so suh-weet!

God of sound music and sound mind,
Thank you for bringing us wellness and love because you are only too happy to do so.
You are forever praised and worshipped.amen

Your son,
R

Sleep, why doest thou leave me?

4.7 out of 5 Pucks....just inching my way towards a perfect score!

Just to clarify: the "puck scale of well being" is a nifty system I made up to gauge mood. As far as that goes, I am feeling "Tony the Tiger..Grrrrreat!"
My new double lithium dosage really is stabilizing my moods and like most bp bloggers, when things are going well, not much bloggin happens (yep....5 days of mac free bliss)

Now sleep on the other hand has been kinda irregular and crappy. The past 2 nights I have either been up till 5am (sleeping in till 10am) or like today...in bed at 11pm, awake at 4am....I just want a regular sleep cycle.

*yawn* well bloggin here seems to have helped as I am feelin even more groggy now. Tomorrow I get to go to the PNE...wheeeeeee! It is B.C.s state fair thingie. and how about those canucks and our 13 Olympic medals.....hurray we ended our winless streak of the first 7 days...ack.

God who grants rest & peace to those who love you, please saturate me with your peace so I can sleep as deeply as my baby daughters...(ok well the 5 month old was up a couple times, but usually its pretty good :P ) Thanks for the holy power assist.
Love me

Looking at our good friend Lithium---responses?

Let's get right down to then business shall we?

Just wondering how much lithium everyone is on out there. I take 1 capsule of 300 mg of lithium goodness before I go to sleep. I did take myself off of lithium for 2 years, but then this last fall I had a gi-normous deppression that left me inert and in bed for 3 days and that's when the voice of reason said to meself " This is not good". I went crawling back to my shrink, went back on "L"
and through in some counselling sessions to help sort myself out. It was that epifanny that made me accept that i was bipolar and start talking about it openly. I have been an "out of the closet (well to a group of 6 friends) bipolar" for 10 months now and so far so good.
Anticipating and being honest with my mood disorder sure has helped my wife out alot and I do think I recover faster because of my newfound support system.

Today according to the "Puck of Well-being chart" I am gauging myself at: 4 out of 5 pucks again!

So yeah just tell me how much "L" is being medicated to you and we'll talk about the results soon.

Now may the God of peace fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you would abound in solid,unbreakable hope by the power of the unseen, always present, always real Holy Spirit. (Book of Romans)
Amen

R