The balance of rest & work

2.6 out of 5 pucks

I know it doesn't look like work to some, but that's a pic of me at "work": leading music for little kids. I really enjoy it! This is the best job I have ever had and I am glad to be a home business. But I do still get tired. I still get drained.
Today I was a little "knackered" as the british say. I had to get back to my "recharging station" known as my bed for 2 extra naps today....giving me 12 hours sleep. Incredibly refreshing and totally needed. This keeps the "bipolar dragon" at bay. I get super grumpy and then God has given me "an indicator" with this vacant exhausted stare. I try to hide this "battle-weary look" but my wife has a great radar and she will take me by force if necessary to my "recharging chamber"




It is great that she does that. I love her and rely on her as my secret weapon against Bipolar Dragons as she has that "lance of restfulness" that is always vigilant to attack and defend for me.

Father thanks for my lovely wife and for helping me balance out my bipolar. Please continue to give me rest and peace in Jesus name.

Ok----here's my Dad

4 out of 5 pucks

SO as I write this I am having a "chat" with my dad in Indonesia thanks to the wonder of gmail.
He got married a couple months ago and just mentioned to me now that my new MiL is named Ela and she is a radio broadcaster.

Nice!

Dysfunctional family? absolutely! Do i think my bipolar may be in part due to the craziness coming from his side of the gene pool? Possibly, though my mom is quite weird as well (another time and another story)

anyhow in other news:Toddlertunes.ca is booked for Feb 13th to be filmed on CBC TV's "Living Calgary".
Purdy kewl. It's gonna give me great media for marketing and hopefully a wack of new clients!

Ok I gotta go.

Jesus, thanks for blessing my business and looking after me & the girls. Bless my Dad and draw him to you.
Amen

New Guitar

4.9 out of 5 Pucks

Why so happy you ask? Well, yesterday I was incredibly blessed to find a mint condition Festival series Washburn Acoustic Electric guitar for a mere $200. This guitar retails at between $600-750 so it is an amazing find. I've also been praying about finding a guitar the washburn I was able to play over 15 years ago. Warm, bright sounds that I really like. So there. Not really any bipolar issues to talk about, but my mini concerts are going to sound amazing.


Thanks Jesus for honoringg the secret prayers and desires of our hearts.
I love you and am devoted to you.
Amen

Happy New Year 2009

Here's what I was doing for most of December with Toddler Tunes.

Life has been pretty good though I did crash a couple times, my "down" times only lasted a four-five days all together.

I have fallen out of the bloggin habit, but I hope to get back on the social networking horse....

Right now:

4 out of 5 Pucks

Jesus, you are good and I love you. Continue to heal me and all those who call on your name of bipolar disorder. Amen

Bipolar Fatigue

3 out of 5 pucks

Yeah it has been a while hasn't it?
I haven't super crashed yet, but I am experiencing what I would call "Bipolar Fatigue" or as the french call it "la tiredness of la soul"(yeahmy french is horrendous, n'est pas?)

I am feeling a little spent and had a couple extra power naps =ing about 3 hours extra slep a day. It is like medicine for me.
I shouldn't feel so weary as it has been slow at my business this week. www.toddlertunes.ca but I have managed to put up a video and thank you page from what the kids have sent me.

It is gratifying work, for sure.

As well, I am working for the salvation army as a "Assistant Team Leader" for Area 11 where I pick up the kettles for the homeless program. Ya gotta be involved and work with the poor. It is one thing Jesus calls us to...unless you aren't a Christian in which case I would highly recommend showing compassion cause even Buddhists' practice that.

Ok i am also getting ready for Christmas, but we're not really so excited about presents than we are about our family tradition of Advent. It rocks celebrating Christ, the Eternal Infant who came to destroy Evil and bring back Good to humanity.

Deer Lord,

Thank you for your blessing at this time of year and remind us of who you are.
In Jesus name
amen

Rings & Toddler Tunes in the Media

4.9 out of 5 pucks

Man has it been over 2 weeks scince my last post? Sorry guys!
But yes life has been really good so far and I haven'thad a down time yet, so BP is doing good.

The ring pic, is one we have been looking at today online. Y'see I lost my wedding band in BC just before we moved to Calgary, and have been feeling really naked without it! My wife & I have 8 years behind us and I want another reminder of the coveneant I made with her to be together 4ever.

ALSO in even bigger news:

a Lifestyle show called "Living Calgary" on CBC TV have approached us to do a story on Toddler Tunes:
"We love the idea of giving children their first concert experience..." and I almost fell out of my chair!

This is soooo an answer to prayer! We are only a few months old in Calgary and already God's favour is showing up everywhere. We don't have any money for marketing and print ads; all our business has come through cold calls and now we may be able to hit hundreds of people with our business and how we value children.

SO yeah I am super happy!

Jesus,
Thank you for all your goodness and providence. We love you , rever you & follow you.
Extend your hand of blessing on all those who need it now and draw them close because you are loving and you are REAL.
In your great name. AMen

Fish Oils & Magic Omega 3's

4.6 out of 5 pucks

Gotta love the fishy pills!

I have been taking 3 wild salmon pills a day for the past several months and I gotta tell you, they seem to help me out alot. The Omega 3's help fight depression and I have been doing great this week. I even entertained/taught over 120 kids this week and usually that drains me a bit afterwards but I am feeling pretty goood. Mindya I did give myself extra recovery time by having some naps here and there, but yeah all in all i feel good!

Jesus, thanks for fish-ees that help to give Omega 3's that help to stave off bipolar sadness naturally.
Amen

Energy drain...is it always bipolar

2.4 out of 5 pucks

So today is one of my low energy days. I don't feel like killing myself, nor do I feel sad. But getting out of bed to do something is another story. I am starting to wonder if this is more than bipolar. Maybe I need some good vitamins, change of diet, exercise....

Sure I hate my p/t day job as a printer salesman, but did that psychologically keep me from embracing the day?

Ok I gotta get some more sleep and

I gotta find a way to beat this BP thang!

Jesus, empower me with hope and help me emotionally to live the life.

Sleep fighting Bipolar with my nocturnal "katana"

2.5 to 3.5 out of 5 pucks...lotsa fluctuation today!

I know alot of people sleep to avoid life when they are depressed, but for me its a weapon.

I like to think of sleeping as a finely honed two edged katana sword that I use to fight bipolar as a "sleeping" samurai.
When I awake feeling down or out of sorts I know (and my wife knows) that I just need to "sleep it off" and I will get over my bipolar 'hangover' faster if I feel completely refreshed and non groggy etc...due to more sleep.

Sometimes that means sleeping in till 10am..getting some breakfast and then going back to sleep untl 4pm.

Then like the phoenix rising from the ashes, I arise again, stronger, better and in a completely different and more positive mood.

Today was rough in the morning, and I wonder if it was attributed to me NOT wanting to do my p/t sales job today (which i do alongside toddler tunes) or just my chemicals in my body being fuk'd and making me sad...

and the questions continue...

God, thank you for giving me sleep as a weapon to fight off my bipolar mood swings. Please equip others with their own weapons to fight BP. Arm them especially with your unbreakable, unfailing love.
In Jesus Name, Amen

The Grumpy Bipolar

2.5 out of 5 pucks.....riding the fence today...boyeezzzzz


"All of life is moving from resentment to gratitude"
-a quote from my friend quoting a modern christian monk

For the past couple days I have become aware, thanks to my loving wife of how grumpy and quick to anger I have become because of this illness. And she is right.

"You always seem disappointed and never happy....even when you are doing something you like"

I want to find out where this anger is coming from. Now don't get me wrong: I don't freak out and smash things around the house or spank my kids or anything...I am just kinda grumpy and pouty and "need to have my way"

Being thankful instead of being mad really does put another spin on things. That is why God says in his word to " be thankful in all things"....and it takes supernatural power to do that when you'd rather just be pissy.

It also must fire off some chemicals in your brain making you feel ...well....good because being generally thankful and grateful brings a sense of relief for having a little bit of satisfaction for whatever circumstance you find yourself in and with whatever friendships you have been blessed with.

I have a long upward climb to get to the Mountain of Thankfullness, but I am going to try...with lotsa prayer and probrably my good pal Lithium..

Jesus, make us thankful for all we have and all we do. There are many that do not have the privledges we live in today and we give you thanks.
amen